It’s been over a week since I’ve posted. I’ve been crazy busy getting ready for my friend’s wedding, dealing with giant shit storms at work…I don’t know, I feel so overwhelmed right now, it’s crazy.

I was going to use this weekend to recharge, but I haven’t…it’s been a bloody mess really.

Yesterday, I even committed a sin against my gluten-free body. I ate a large pizza from Papa John and wasted the whole Sunday being slumped. Was I bloated or constipated? No, but I was lethargic and I felt like so guilty.

Now, why did I do this? Because I made plans to go out and I left two of my three jeans at my Uncle’s – the third was dirty and completely unwearable.

Three jeans.

I own three jeans. I used to have thirteen! Now I have two size 14s and one size 16s. Why? Because I hate shopping, something that I used to love now makes me sad. Just last month, I had a little breakdown in a New Look changing room because I couldn’t comfortably move

Sometimes I forget I’m curvier than I used to be and try to wear things that used to fit me. They don’t, my shape is different and certain styles just don’t work.

Sometimes, it makes me sad so I just never bothered to buy more jeans. I bought those three out of necessity, nothing else.

Honestly, I hate this feeling, I like being comfortable and liking my body. How do I fix this?

I don’t want to cry in New Look, I don’t want to own just three jeans…I want to wear a bikini again.

I’m currently reading some  great pieces on Tiny Buddha and I’ve signed up for some classes at Inner Space. My body issues can no longer be ignored, I need to fix up and tackle them head on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s