It’s been over a week since I’ve posted. I’ve been crazy busy getting ready for my friend’s wedding, dealing with giant shit storms at work…I don’t know, I feel so overwhelmed right now, it’s crazy.
I was going to use this weekend to recharge, but I haven’t…it’s been a bloody mess really.
Yesterday, I even committed a sin against my gluten-free body. I ate a large pizza from Papa John and wasted the whole Sunday being slumped. Was I bloated or constipated? No, but I was lethargic and I felt like so guilty.
Now, why did I do this? Because I made plans to go out and I left two of my three jeans at my Uncle’s – the third was dirty and completely unwearable.
I own three jeans. I used to have thirteen! Now I have two size 14s and one size 16s. Why? Because I hate shopping, something that I used to love now makes me sad. Just last month, I had a little breakdown in a New Look changing room because I couldn’t comfortably move
Sometimes I forget I’m curvier than I used to be and try to wear things that used to fit me. They don’t, my shape is different and certain styles just don’t work.
Sometimes, it makes me sad so I just never bothered to buy more jeans. I bought those three out of necessity, nothing else.
Honestly, I hate this feeling, I like being comfortable and liking my body. How do I fix this?
I don’t want to cry in New Look, I don’t want to own just three jeans…I want to wear a bikini again.