Self-love is one of the most important things you have to learn in life. It protects you and nourishes your soul. It makes you confident and strong.
Now, I wouldn’t say my self-esteem is awful, but it’s not good. I was the tall weird chubby nerdy girl, who was friends with the cute ones guys liked and always stood out in pictures. It had a real effect on my confidence and from a young age I hated being so different, so tall, so much bigger….I just hated me, I guess.
I didn’t grow up loving how I looked and who I was.
I want to say I grew out of it, but I didnt. It still effects me, my lack of self love reflects in the way I choose to treat myself. Whether it’s wallowing in bed hating myself or dating a guy who makes me hate myself.
Nonetheless, I refuse to continue hating me and this year I’m working so hard to change the way I think and how I see myself.
For anyone who always struggles with this as well. Here three things I tell myself every morning to help me stay positive.
1. You are not anyone else, you are you. Do not pretend to be someone else in hopes of having their life.
It’s okay to see someone and take inspirations from their good habits. However, trying to morph into another person is like being an actor 24/7. It would be tiring and not give anyone the chance to know you.
2.Don’t change for others
Anyone who makes you feel stupid or weird, when all you are doing is being you is an ass. I used to date this guy who make me feel like this weird nerd and I couldn’t help, but to compare myself to other girls and try and ‘contain’ my weirdness. It was exhausting and I couldn’t relax. Eventually I had to give up on the guy, it made no sense doing all this for one person! When everyone else loved me the way I was….when I loved me the way I was.
3. Don’t look for someone else to fill the void and make you happy.
You can’t look to anyone else to find happiness. You have to learn to be happy by yourself or else you will continuously jump from one relationship or friendship looking for someone to love you and keep putting yourself at risk of being hurt.
What if that person doesn’t want to be with you no more? What if that person hurts you?
Why are you giving someone else so much control over you?
These tips may seem easy and common knowledge , but trust me they are so much harder to put into practise if you wake up doubting yourself every morning. It will be a struggle to change your brain from ‘ I need x’ or ‘ why can’t I be x’ into a more positive person.
However, you will eventually get there. Everyday for me is a struggle, but I do it.
I have no other choice if I want to be happy in life.
Hope this helps